change the design
Essentialism, by Greg McKeown, page 78
journal.
focus on the patterns
in your life.
change the design.
After I create a blackout poem, harvesting a message from an existing page of text, I linger in its message until it develops into an intention—a call to action. The prompts below are my invitation to myself to bring the lesson from the blackout poem into the way I intend to live today. I share them here in case the practice or the specific prompts are helpful and inspiring to you. Instructions for how to use this practice and generate your own prompts are at the bottom of each of my posts.
Morning Journal Prompt: Today, notice what you need. What are you longing for? How can you create a boundary or make a clear request to champion for your own needs today?
Evening Journal Prompt: How did you do? What challenges did the day bring and did you meet them with awareness, flexibility, and compassion? How might you have done these better? What could help you remember to use this orientation and self-advocacy when you face challenges in the days ahead?
My personal reflection on this blackout poem: I’ve been silent on my substack feed for over a month. I’ve been doing more private processing while I navigate some significant challenges. It has been a little over a year since I took an assessment and discovered the source of many of my patterns. I’ve been looking back at the most painful turning points of my life and realized they were all linked to this new discovery about myself. I have been grieving what this means for my limitations. I have also been celebrating how my unique perspectives are my superpowers. Armed with this new understanding, I have been trying to tool up for being a better advocate for myself and really thriving in this stage of my career.
Since our daughter was diagnosed with autism around the age of two, I’ve been pretty clear about how I feel about diagnoses and labels. If they lead to better understanding of oneself and to the tools and support systems to improve one’s life, let’s gooooo! If they are used as sources of more misunderstandings and limitations, hell nooooo!
Years ago our family shifted away from power-over parenting to power-with. We created an environment filled with compassion, curiosity, and mutual respect. We have been very deliberate about our family culture. So much so that it can be quite jolting when we experience the lack of these environmental qualities in spaces outside our glorious bubble. It was a bit of a gamble when we made this shift in our parenting. Would this style meet our hopes and expectations? Would our children be self-motivated and excellent advocates for their own needs while honoring others? Now that they are ages 26 to 16. I can say ABSOLUTELY!
Thank heavens that panned out. For almost twenty years I have been teaching parents, teachers, and students as young as five how to create this kind of environment and cultivate this culture of compassion and curiosity. I’ve tried to make money in other ways, to balance the financial needs of our family, but I always keep my teaching and training work going.
I can’t stop because I can’t quite accept that this compassionate environment isn’t the norm everywhere, yet.
I need it to be this way to thrive anywhere.
I want it to be this way so that my kids can thrive anywhere—so that yours can thrive anywhere.
Regardless of the challenges we each face and the patterns that we’ve developed along the way, I think the combo of awareness, flexibility, and compassion with self and others is the way. As I shift my perspective about myself, I am realizing at a much deeper level why Nonviolent Communication™️, creative spiritual practice, and purposeful work are foundational and necessary to my happiness. I am newly fueled to keep developing tools and training folks in these areas because the feedback speaks volumes about the positive impacts for folks with neurotypical and neurodivergent brains.
When I was in architecture school and when I worked in the field for almost 20 years, my favorite projects were ones with significant challenges and limitations. I found it exhilariting to create something stunningly beautiful and functional despite all the limitations.
This blackout poem reminded me that this can be true with how I design my life.
I hope that you are designing the life you desire and that reading these posts are in some way helpful in your pursuit.
For practice decks, cards, and groups, check out We Practice Life. We work together to put these resources into practice through the way we live, learn, and lead.
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Scroll down for instructions on making your own blackout poems and prompts.
Monthly Online Blackout Poetry Group
We gather online at from 12 - 1:30p CT on the first Friday of each month to practice blackout poetry and share our insights, questions, and reflections (if we choose).
These practice groups are free. Sign up to receive the monthly newsletter with resources and the invitation to join each session.
Want to watch a short video on how to make blackout poetry using a phone app?
How to Practice Blackout Poetry as a Journal Prompt
Select a page of descriptive fiction, non-fiction, or sacred text.
Photograph, copy, or use an original page from a book.
Spend a few moments centering and slowing down. Focus on breathing.Without judgement or analysis, scan the text. Which words or phrases draw more attention? Circle or underline them. Resist the urge to connect with the author’s meaning or purpose. Notice which words or phrases have a more energetic or emotional response.
Read the words and phrases you selected. Can you relate to a general mood or message? Remove some words and add others to strengthen the message and give it flow and clarity. Keep the original intention of the message. In other words, don’t lose the point because you are trying to make it more academic or writerly.
When you have the selection of words that support the message and enhance its meaning, you can;
decorate the page using art supplies or create a digital collage.
re-read the words and explore the meaning of the message. Set a timer for 2-3 minutes and free write in your journal about what this message means to you or why you think you were drawn to them right now.
Ordinary Life Presentation on August 11, 2024 on Blackout Poetry as a Spiritual Practice: Purpose, Process, Product. A 50 minute talk with the backstory, instructions, and tons of examples of blackout poems from my now completed project of blacking out every page of Braiding Sweetgrass.
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By SpiritualSpark · Launched in June of 2024
Using erasure poetry and Lectio Divina, I harvest words and phrases that connect me to my values and my voice.